I watch her
I understand her pain
The chill that constricts her loving heart
It comes from my own soul
Numbed not by loving another
But from having never been able to trust myself enough
Pain that comes from compassion and finding meaning in companionship
They find a way to love me
Even when I can't bring myself to love what I see reflected in that cold surface
Sometimes a little bit of warmth escapes
Melting the frost lining of my emotions
It's wrong, but it's what I've always known
Sometimes hearing the same hateful words
They destroy the extremities of your kindness
A frostbitten melancholy that may take untold time to heal
I look to othe
All I know is the dark
The damp
Constant aching hunger
The daily threats of death
Of torture
Pain
Somehow I found the will to live
I no longer try to understand
Why would he would help me
When everyone else doesn't cease to see me dead
Far from compassion
Not quite hateful either
In debt to him
That solitary Drow
Seeing the power within me
Nurturing it with a closed fist
My emotions following suit
Long having forgotten those I lost
That dirty village
Blank faces lost to time
Fire redder then blood
The feel of a cold blade against the tender skin of my throat
I'm going to die
Like the faceless figures I had loved as my parents
Refusing to acc
Here
In my heart
Pulsing in my head
Needs
Wants
Hope
Maybe a hint of desire
Forcing myself not to think about it
Only my soul knows
Hidden away from the curious
Interlopers I don't like or trust
Still I wish to love
Despite my fearful ideas
Forcing me awake in the darkness
I'm close
I know this
Grinding away for months
To fix what has been the cause of my pain
Making me ashamed
A plan forms
I know I will need a friend
Mattering very little because they respect me
Forgive me if vulnerability isn't appealing
Catching my breath I stop
Remembering my guardian
The order seems wrong
Trusting others
And barely trusting myself
Challenging
But one I w
I remember you
From my dream
A vast green plain
In a valley shining like Jade
Disoriented
Like a drunkard
Lost
Like a missing person
Overhead
A clear sky blazes
The blue root of a flame
Sparse Cirrus calming the inferno
Was I running
Chest aching with exertion
From above
The Leviathan descends
I can't stop myself from shielding my head
Strange
It's wings make no sound
The color of polished Sterling
Powerful body landing with deceptive grace
A face both Canine and Leonine
Dark eyes
Sapphires embedded
In Obsidian
A dark javelin horn between them
Thrust forward with confident purpose
My curiosity betrays my fear
Such a fearsome creature
Watching
I can feel it
The things I know but have yet to learn
It waits
And my feet obey
Having transcended doubt
Fear
Crippling anxiety
I am alone
Loving others comes easily
Knowing that there may be one of significance
The day I decide that I'm not afraid to share my heart
The distance is a comfort
But far from what I really want
My eyes have never shifted from progress
Some things are much more important
And just that simple
Finally acknowledging the light in my eyes
I never believed it
Even when my colleagues could see it
Idleness would have destroyed me
They know it
But not the depth of it
Victim of my own thoughts
Obsessions
Keeping it together
It matters
What you see outside
Before you step out to greet a melancholy afternoon
Clouds overhead like tarnished silver
Naked branches winding upwards to greet them
A biting chill
Working it's way beneath my hood
Forcing brown hair over my eyes
Against my skin
And still
Despite everything
It overshadows any past anguish
They see a distressed habitation
Saturated grass
Roads made dangerous by rain
Only as much as those behind the wheel
Relevant
To one's own joy
Beauty within the lack of sky
But when the Sun glows it's triumph
Behind a gray atmosphere
Not enough light
Just enough to provoke admiration
If only from me
Ugly Heart, Beautiful Mind by dreamingshadow18, literature
Literature
Ugly Heart, Beautiful Mind
Creeping up on me like an eight legged creature
Tracing ugly motives into my skin
If demons exist then I'm a believer
Absent outside, but hiding within
Past forgotten
Memories shown mercy, lost in time
A wounded hope as soft as cotton
Returning to the present and reclaiming what”s mine
I won't pray for you
(Chorus)
Such an ugly heart, and such a beautiful mind
A malign husk is all that remains
Living a life so unrefined
Simple for you to throw it all away
Insanity is the way to take control
Hoarding what you'd never gained on your own
Sickness expanding like a consuming black hole
Hindsight voicing what I'd always known
You will ne